An Ode to Shoes

Me in a few of my favorite outfits! :0
Hello, time to pick it up and begin the "blog" again.  Just returned from a trip to the states and during that time, I found a t-shirt of mine that read, "No one cares about your blog".  I laughed, packed it and thought, why did I buy that?  The understatement of my life.

Back on the island, I find myself in the same pair of shorts and tank tops.  My closet is packed full of clothes I rarely wear.  In the states, in the closet where I have clothes stored, I wore the same things over and over while there too.  So why the urge to have more?  This really confuses me now.  I do love fashion and the feeling you get from a great pair of shoes or a dress that makes you feel like a princess.  I do not walk around like a princess here, the shoes would be ruined in one walk to my golf cart.  When I am back in the states, I wear shoes; my feet ache the first few days and I promise myself to try to wear regular shoes when I am back on the island.  (I haven't done it since my return; it's too easy to slide into a pair of flip- flops and run down the steps to the beach or take the dogs out for a walk).  Oh what to do?

My plan is to donate most of what I do not wear here to the next fund raiser my little group of friends are involved in.  I have a memorial service to attend today and I will try my hardest to come up with a new and improved version of my favorite outfit.  I will wear shoes with heels.  (Try gracefully walking through sand in heels, as it pinches the heck out of your toes and grinds into your skin; not an easy thing to do, but I am up to the challenge).  My plan is to ditch the heels and bring a pair of flip-flops to don as soon as the service is over.  Sorry, I do have my limits.

So fashionistas out there, if you see a great pair of flip-flops, keep me in mind.  I also am quite fond of khaki shorts with pockets that hold keys and doggie treats; draw strings are nice too.  I will try not to twinge when I see a tourist in what must possibly be the "latest" fashions in the rest of the world.  I will smile, stay comfortable and hope I will blend in with the masses when I am back in the states. :)  

Food, glorious food!

Cannot believe another year is coming to an end!  Where does it go?  Amazing!  What a year it has been, glad to be safe, healthy and able to move forward.  We had a wonderful Christmas with very little drama; always a plus in my book!  Both children are here for their breaks, both have brought along friends for a visit.  So much fun, so much anticipation and so much food!  

Not sure what to write about and it occurred to me just now!  Food, glorious food!  We have to have it and having too much is bad and too little is not good either.  Finding that delicate balance between too little and too much is a much held secret and one sought by millions.  Although, I suffer from allergies, some from food, I have also been blessed with a high metabolism.  Do not get me wrong, my butt gets as big as any one's, I do exercise, just not as much as my doctor would like.  My weight has remained pretty much the same since high school.  What makes me write about all this is, Julia Child!  She may change all this very quickly!

I love to cook and I love to try new recipes and gadgets.  When I am in the states, one of my stops is to a Williams-Sonoma or Crate and Barrel store, or both.  I enjoy cooking for my family and friends and have surprised myself many times.  Julia Child was the first chef I ever watched on TV.   My daughter gave me one of Julia's cookbooks for Christmas this year.  Loving cookbooks too, I have been reading and making notes since the day I received it.  Last night, I began trying out some of the recipes!  Lord have mercy, does Julia like butter and more butter.  I am a huge butter fan, unsalted, of course, but what she lists to use in some of these recipes makes my heart flutter.  Delighted, everything I have tried, thus far,  has been delicious and simple enough.  Ingredients I keep in my pantry and now a search for more spices and tools.  The joy of this will keep my very happy and my family awaiting eagerly for what is cooking now and what is to come!  

So, Happy New Year everyone in cyberspace!  I hope you are all blessed with whatever it is that makes you happy.  If you are looking for something to make you happy, I suggest cooking some comfort.  Modify if you must, try what you are comfortable with.  Nothing brings a family together like a beautifully prepared meal gathered around a table with candles and wine.  Made with love and shared with those you love.  Bon appetite!  :)

Ugly Americans

Why is it when people go on vacation they leave their manners and brains behind?  For the life of me I do not understand this!  I consider myself a "seasoned traveler"; I have only been to 50 or more countries and am eager to see as many more before my days are numbered.  I keep a log of these places; what I loved, what I saw, where I stayed, ate and drank.  I always try to buy a piece of art to take back as a souvenir, something that reminds me of a wonderful place and the life lesson that went along with it.   The one thing I have learned over the years, on these journeys around the world,  "When in Rome, do as the Romans."  Easy enough; be respectful, flexible and considerate of your surroundings and local inhabitants, (human and non) and the gift back is usually mutual respect and maybe if you are lucky enough, a new friend.

This leads me to why on earth the guests that rent the house next door,  feel entitled to party like it's 1999 and woot and holler into the night?  You want Club Med?  Go to Club Med (are those around anymore?) or here's a thought, how about visit the local disco or nightclub?  If you do want to carry on like this,  do not rent a house in a very quiet, isolated area on top of your closest neighbor.  You are going to piss people off!  Just because you paid to go on vacation does not give you any rights to act like complete assholes!  My kid gloves are off, I am at war with these tourists, do not mess with me, I will fight for my home,  make your vacation as miserable as possible and make you regret your decisions!  You want to party all night, then be prepared to be awaken to barking dogs, bagpipe music and trumpets before dawn!  I have the loudest Polaris vehicle on the island;  how about full gear "donuts" outside your bedroom window?  I also have a decibel reader and when you hit 70, (which by the way, you flaming big idiot, frying bacon is over 70 decibels),  I will call the police and you will probably get a ticket and risk going to a jail cell for the night!  I am thinking of more ways to make your visit here even more miserable as I sit here and write! 

This house next door has new tourists each week, we endure this idiotic, inane behavior each week!    This owner has no idea what I have up my sleeves now!  Trip Advisor?  Here I come!  BTB?  Get ready for more calls!  SACNW and SP Police; you all might want new phone numbers!  What happened with a visitor visiting and visiting?  When did visiting become a time to piss off locals and disrespect them?  Just because you paid to be here gives you this right?  What has happened to civilization?  If I ever thought I was disrespectful while peeking into a Hindu shrine in Thailand or visiting a museum in Paris or bar-b- q'g at a townhouse rental in Cozumel,  I would did a hole, hide and beg for another chance to be a better visitor!  I tiptoe through lobbies early morning or late at night, I read or star gaze from a balcony sipping wine,  watching the wonders of nature and beholding a view I hope not to forget.   When I travel, I want to leave with a positive experience and hope that my visit was one that made the people I met want to visit me in my home.  Oh well, some say it is in how one is raised.  I was raised to be respectful, an equal and no better than my fellow woman at home or aboard.  (Apparently, the "ugly American" is something some travelers want to be?!)

So, since the I have had a chance to rant, my blood pressure is back to normal, and I will take a walk along the beach to remind myself why I am here and chose this place to live out these"golden years".  The revenge attitude has gone away and I will behave myself!  (I do have children, albeit, almost grown, but I do have to uphold their respect for me and continue to be a good example!  Darn-it!)   I hope my next door neighbor guests will take a page out of my guide to life and try it.  Travel is a wonderful gift and experience, take from it something new to learn, knowledge in a different culture or a new respect for the environment.  Do not litter, disobey laws, expect things to be like they are at home.  You are visiting some one's home!  Take your shoes off, have a local drink, see what a street vendor has for sale, visit the national treasures of where you are a VISITOR!  Delight in the quirkiness, the absurd, the unusual and take home some knowledge of what you were just given a chance to do!  Do not expect any more and know what you are getting yourself into.  Four miles south of town may seem like nothing in Los Angeles, but on sandy, golf cart roads, you might as well be staying on the next caye.  It is real quiet here and that how the locals love it!   Adios...

ICK!

I have a low tolerance of "eeeeeeeewwwwww".  I am not a big fan of grossness, in fact, I can just about start throwing up at the thought of it.  An intolerance to slime, greasy things, blood, guts and the leftovers of what my cat has been snacking on outside.  Huge "icks", do not like it, never have and seriously doubt, ever will!  Yesterday's adventure had a huge "eeeeeeeeewwwwww"ness to it!  Wanting to cry yesterday has lead to laughs today!

My friend, Christine is starting a new job.  I volunteered to accompany her on a trip to the northern part of this island to interview a potential client.  Easy enough, gave me a real good excuse not to attend another function!  So, showered, clean clothes and even a bit of make-up on, off I went to meet my friend.  Minutes later, away we were on our little journey. 

Do-to-do-to-do, we go, chatting along and enjoying the scenery and becoming more and more disgusted by the condition of the road.  For those of you who know, it has rained recently and the pot holes and mud/yuck holes cannot be avoided.  For those of you who do not know; the road north of the cut or bridge is not paved!  The further north you go, the worse it becomes and there is no way to describe it except maybe like; "driving through hell craters on the moon?!"   Christine is doing her best to navigate these horrible, muddy pot holes filled with gross, stinky water!  Doing fairly well, until, we get stuck!  And I mean stuck!  The mud sucks in the back tires like a giant suction cup!  I begin screaming because I know I now have to step out into this water to get to dry land and may possibly have to help push this cart out!  Stepping out into this mud ickyness, my flip/flop immediately is sucked in!  The next one breaks off!  Now I have to navigate back to retrieve these!  OMG, somehow, I get them and make it to dry land!   Not knowing where we are or how close to this,  soon-to-be client's address, we realize we must go into the bush or wade through more water to get some help!  At first the bush/jungle seems okay, except we have these ridiculous flip/flops on and then we find the locals in this area have filled the bush with garbage!  To our knees of garbage!  I am so close to tears and way past my "eeeeeewwwwww" tolerance level, I have to tell myself to suck it up and do this!  I did!  Not happily and shaking with fear of what we may be stepping on or into!  We did it!  

Angels watching over these two little catholic women, we get to our destination, only to find out we were yards away from where we needed to be!  Mud dripping on our legs, dirt and slime oozing between our toes,  sweat pouring off our brows, heads and actually, everywhere, completely disheveled, we find my friend's appointment!  (Another story, but this guy could use a briefing from Emily Post or a slap from Donald Trump!  A complete ass, no common courtesy what so ever!  I doubt he will be getting any recommendations for his resort from my friend!)

After my friend's meeting, we beg for help and after about a half hour, out comes a sweet worker with keys to a Polaris vehicle, some rope and the know-how of getting us out of this mess!  Tugging, pulling and presto, somehow he gets our cart out of the mud and advises us to stay to the "left" all the way back!  Easy enough, once again, off we go!

As we approach our destination, which is a mighty fine bar-b-q restaurant, dreaming of using their hose for our feet and legs, the washroom for our hands and face, we get stuck again!  This time the front end slides in and now the back tires slip and have nothing but muck to try to grip!  The engine dies, we're about to cry, again and my girlfriend is about to blow a gasket!  Out of the cart again, this time I teetered over a wheel and hop to dry land, desperate not to touch this slimy disgusting muck!  No help in sight, wild dogs in an adjacent lot and now no cell service!  But, I see  a golf cart approaching in the distance!  Yes, it is and he is headed right for us!

I am jumping up and down and begging please help us!  This young man and his girl friend are obviously out for a Sunday afternoon drive and know how to navigate these pot holes.  He quickly takes the stick I found that had some rope attached, (I was going to use it on those dogs if I had to),  cuts the rope with the machete he has hidden in his cart, attaches one cart to the other and proceeds, with the help of his girlfriend at the wheel to push and pull us out of this mess!

Another round of "OMG's", we now give this guy the last of our money; we had paid the previous helper and had coins left to give this young man!  He seemed pleased with his bonus and continued on with his date.

When we arrive at the restaurant, our friends are waiting and the looks on their faces about says it all!  We are a freaking mess!  Taking turns to use the washroom,  relate our tale of woe, we drink a few ice cold beers and relax enough to enjoy our lunch, the company and view of the sea!

My friend said she could see a blog coming and all I could think of was a shower in clorox and a tetanus shot!  Thanks for the laughs Christine, but really, eeeeeewwwwww!

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...

The expression, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," pretty much sums up last weekend!  How many times have I said that to myself after reading an article or watching the news?  Or,  going to lunch with a girlfriend and listening to the antics of an ex-husband/boyfriend.  My own ex-husband used this quote when wondering where my rage was coming from during our divorce!  (Damn him and he wondered about this?  What a narcissistic asshole!)

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of meeting girlfriends of one of my girlfriends here on the island.  These women traveled here from Louisiana and Texas to spend 5 days enjoying the caribbean sunshine.  Within minutes of meeting, I was invited to attend a voodoo ceremony to "roast" an ex-husband getting remarried in a few days!  (I am always looking for entertainment, so I immediately said, "sure, and in fact, I'll make the doll!"  I have boxes of art supplies, fabrics and the like to keep me from losing my mind to boredom).  This simple, introductory conversation led to a weekend of laughter, music and a sense of, "getting back at someone that hurt or wronged someone else".

Well, being the sewing nut that I am, I began a mental check list of needs;  my mind going a mile a minute at all the "extras" to add,  to make each doll unique.  My experience in this "craft" is minimal, but I had made one doll once,  truly for big laughs and to release some anger another person had caused.  I am a frustrated artist and truly enjoy creating things.  My mind reeling with where to begin:  the sewing, gluing and designing little people that later would be subjected to all sorts of mayhem.  My girlfriend had music downloaded about the famous voodoo queen of New Orleans, another friend had gone online to find out specifics of the actual ceremony and requirements!

Once the date, time and place were set,  I went home that evening and set out my supplies to begin filling the orders for the next day.  At sunrise, I took the dogs for a quick walk, made my pot of coffee and began sewing  little dolls,  soon to be tortured!  By mid day, I took my small shopping bag of dolls, pins, extra fabric and thread to my girlfriend's condo.  Upon arrival, the wooting and laughter began!  Plans of what to do first were discussed.  Out to the beach we paraded, music blasting, beating a coconut, (we did not have a drum, a prop that is required!), dragging our "dolls" through the sand and pinning them to a coconut tree, the ceremony began!  Rum and corn meal scattered, music playing, coconut drum, now taken away by the condo association's dog who loves to chew on them, we stumbled on our own guffaws.  Apparently, real voodoos, throw themselves to the ground!  Well, we about fell over laughing!  Does that count?  The condo painters stared and joined in on the laughter, I am sure,  praying they were not one of our subjects!  Exhausting ourselves on this, we retreated back inside, poured a cocktail and headed out to the dock to watch the sea.

As the sun began to set, I decided my day was done and headed back home to my dogs and college football scores.  Before going to bed, I downloaded my pictures and posted some more thoughts about the day on "facebook".  What amazed me more than the actual antics and comedy of the day, were the responses I had from my "facebook" friends!  Wow, now the real entertainment!

Most of the "facebook" posts were from our friends being entertained by our activities.  My husband did call and ask if there was a doll for him, as he had a sudden stomach ache!  Of course not, I adore him and he causes his own angst!  LOL!    Amazing were the responses tittering on worries and lectures about fooling with such elements!  Piss haw ya'll, WE WERE HAVING A LITTLE FUN!!  That is all!  If it were this easy, people would dropping like flies all around us!  Are you kidding me?!  Or, could this be the conspiracy behind the swine flu?   Doodoodoodoo!!

Apparently, there are a whole group of worry-wort's out there, and thank you for your concerns, but no thanks!  There are far bigger things to worry about out there folks!  Thank you to those of you out there who enjoy a laugh or two and I will be filling your orders as quickly as possible!  A new business?  Maybe?  If nothing else, it entertains me and beats the crap out of other things to do on this island!  OMG, if it would have been this easy to cause my own ex-husband some pain, imagine the legal fees I would have saved!  I could have walked over to my friendly neighborhood voodoo doll maker and asked for:  "1, short, bald and jewish doll please!"  Lord, I could have been getting back at my louse of a neighbor a year ago!  Think about all the wrongs that could have been made right by the simple purchase of a voodoo doll and a sprinkle of cornmeal!  People, people, lighten up and do not take things so seriously!  It is a good thing to release some stress and anger!  And, it is fun!  My face hurt from the laughing!

So, back to  William Congreve; thank you for putting it so eloquently, as truly, " Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!"  and to Marie Lavauex,  you are the queen!

Tropical Wave

We have a "tropical wave" approaching the area.  I enjoy the changes in weather; they are not what this ex-Chicago housewife is used to!  Changes in weather up north are not subtle;  the trees lose their leaves in the fall.  Rain, ice and snow means winter. Trees regain their leaves in the spring and it is horribly hot and humid in the summer.  In Belize, it's hot, breezy and sunny most everyday!  In fact, I have trouble keeping track of the days, weeks and months.  They are so similar and unchanging, I remember the days, weeks and month, by when guests visit or  when I go back to the states!  Belize is hotter in the summer months and unfortunately, more humid, (this is Central America and rain forests are near by).   In the winter months, we do wear long sleeves, at night.  It remains in the 80's most everyday, cold for us is 60 degrees!  (And trust me, the residents are wearing  jackets, hats and gloves!)

So, back to the, "tropical wave".  Exciting and potentially scary; I explained it like this to Steve when he called,  "If we had "Tarboggin", a sailboat we owned years ago on Lake Michigan, "we could have sailed to Caye Caulker and back a couple times this morning!"  "Wow," says he, "that's great!"  Yes, it is.  I have turned the air conditioning off, the windows are open, no bugs biting me to bits and it is even breezy inside!  The dogs are enjoying this break too!  

The first time I heard the weather term "tropical wave," was from one of my dear neighbors.  A group of us were meeting up for lunch.  She cancelled the day before, due to the approaching "tropical wave".  Perplexed, I did not understand.  I thought "tropical wave" sounded "nice"!  A sort-of parade wave or winds that took the bugs away and nothing more.  Now, I have learned, "tropical wave" means; rain, potential tropical storm development, and possibly, a hurricane.  More than likely, they come and move out of the area, bringing the rain, the wind and some change to the weather.  Looking outside now, it's hard to imagine this "wave" could bring anything nasty!  The sky is brilliant blue, the seas are choppy but the reef prevents the waves from getting too large, the sun is shining and this wind is so refreshing, I am savoring this moment!

For the next couple days, I will keep the National Hurricane and Tropical Underground websites minimized, as well as my own eyes to the sea and sky.  Dock time today?  You betcha!  (God I dislike that bimbo!  LOL!)  Anyway, enjoy your day and stay safe!  d :)

Group therapy

I was on "facebook" this morning and thought about writing or adding to this blog!  Funny that I have this urge, completely unexpected.  (Thank you Lauren for getting me started!)  The dogs had me up at dawn,  being here alone, I do turn in really early.  Pippi has taken my spot on the bed, Pickle is now under the blankets and Toby enjoys his own big bed on the floor.  They are so content, the doggie snoring and cuddling is very sweet.  Pippi, being the toddler of the group, is awake first and literally jumps on the  bed to get me going!  So, after our walk and a pot of coffee made, here I sit, at my laptop,  laughing over "facebook".  A true addict I have become and loving these moments!

I have a few new "friends",  so I have suggested  pictures for them to place in their profile space.  Another friend asked me what, "WDV" meant.  (This is when I felt the need to blog!)   LOL! and OMG!  Of course, I know this is only funny to me, as life on the island lately is, "hum drum"!  It is slow season, not so many tourists, businesses closed for vacations and the rumors/gossip is, "not so much!"  To stay busy and entertained, I began going through photos to post on "facebook".

"WDV",  an acronym, "Wine de Vine".  A small group has formed at this shop on Friday nights and I have to admit, it is a group I look forward to seeing and a spot that is unlike anywhere else on the island!  It is cooly air conditioned, the staff;  accommodating, attentive and delightful, the wine selection is wonderful and their cheeses and pates remind one of trips to europe or at least, a very good deli back in the states.  This small establishment has become a sanctuary of sorts, a place to gather without second hand smoke to inhale, a place where we all know each other's name and welcome new members.  The group is the, "wine group" and the group is my idea of "group therapy"!  LOL! again!  

The group has discussed many topics and has solved many world crisis's !  Anything is up for grabs and we do not shy away from the normal taboo topics of social conversation!  

What better way to get a group all stirred up than to begin a debate about religion,  politics or favorite football team?  We have a healthy mix of the reds, the blues, and a few brits!  I love it and would not trade going anywhere else on Friday nights!

The group is thin these days, due to members being,  "off island"  for various reasons.  But, not to worry WDV, we will rally to larger numbers very soon!  In the meantime, the members here are continuing to enjoy the reds, the whites, the imported cheeses and the SALE!!  Cheers to those of you unable to attend, minutes to follow later!  (NSM!)

d  :)