The expression, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," pretty much sums up last weekend! How many times have I said that to myself after reading an article or watching the news? Or, going to lunch with a girlfriend and listening to the antics of an ex-husband/boyfriend. My own ex-husband used this quote when wondering where my rage was coming from during our divorce! (Damn him and he wondered about this? What a narcissistic asshole!)
This past weekend, I had the pleasure of meeting girlfriends of one of my girlfriends here on the island. These women traveled here from Louisiana and Texas to spend 5 days enjoying the caribbean sunshine. Within minutes of meeting, I was invited to attend a voodoo ceremony to "roast" an ex-husband getting remarried in a few days! (I am always looking for entertainment, so I immediately said, "sure, and in fact, I'll make the doll!" I have boxes of art supplies, fabrics and the like to keep me from losing my mind to boredom). This simple, introductory conversation led to a weekend of laughter, music and a sense of, "getting back at someone that hurt or wronged someone else".
Well, being the sewing nut that I am, I began a mental check list of needs; my mind going a mile a minute at all the "extras" to add, to make each doll unique. My experience in this "craft" is minimal, but I had made one doll once, truly for big laughs and to release some anger another person had caused. I am a frustrated artist and truly enjoy creating things. My mind reeling with where to begin: the sewing, gluing and designing little people that later would be subjected to all sorts of mayhem. My girlfriend had music downloaded about the famous voodoo queen of New Orleans, another friend had gone online to find out specifics of the actual ceremony and requirements!
Once the date, time and place were set, I went home that evening and set out my supplies to begin filling the orders for the next day. At sunrise, I took the dogs for a quick walk, made my pot of coffee and began sewing little dolls, soon to be tortured! By mid day, I took my small shopping bag of dolls, pins, extra fabric and thread to my girlfriend's condo. Upon arrival, the wooting and laughter began! Plans of what to do first were discussed. Out to the beach we paraded, music blasting, beating a coconut, (we did not have a drum, a prop that is required!), dragging our "dolls" through the sand and pinning them to a coconut tree, the ceremony began! Rum and corn meal scattered, music playing, coconut drum, now taken away by the condo association's dog who loves to chew on them, we stumbled on our own guffaws. Apparently, real voodoos, throw themselves to the ground! Well, we about fell over laughing! Does that count? The condo painters stared and joined in on the laughter, I am sure, praying they were not one of our subjects! Exhausting ourselves on this, we retreated back inside, poured a cocktail and headed out to the dock to watch the sea.
As the sun began to set, I decided my day was done and headed back home to my dogs and college football scores. Before going to bed, I downloaded my pictures and posted some more thoughts about the day on "facebook". What amazed me more than the actual antics and comedy of the day, were the responses I had from my "facebook" friends! Wow, now the real entertainment!
Most of the "facebook" posts were from our friends being entertained by our activities. My husband did call and ask if there was a doll for him, as he had a sudden stomach ache! Of course not, I adore him and he causes his own angst! LOL! Amazing were the responses tittering on worries and lectures about fooling with such elements! Piss haw ya'll, WE WERE HAVING A LITTLE FUN!! That is all! If it were this easy, people would dropping like flies all around us! Are you kidding me?! Or, could this be the conspiracy behind the swine flu? Doodoodoodoo!!
Apparently, there are a whole group of worry-wort's out there, and thank you for your concerns, but no thanks! There are far bigger things to worry about out there folks! Thank you to those of you out there who enjoy a laugh or two and I will be filling your orders as quickly as possible! A new business? Maybe? If nothing else, it entertains me and beats the crap out of other things to do on this island! OMG, if it would have been this easy to cause my own ex-husband some pain, imagine the legal fees I would have saved! I could have walked over to my friendly neighborhood voodoo doll maker and asked for: "1, short, bald and jewish doll please!" Lord, I could have been getting back at my louse of a neighbor a year ago! Think about all the wrongs that could have been made right by the simple purchase of a voodoo doll and a sprinkle of cornmeal! People, people, lighten up and do not take things so seriously! It is a good thing to release some stress and anger! And, it is fun! My face hurt from the laughing!
So, back to William Congreve; thank you for putting it so eloquently, as truly, " Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!" and to Marie Lavauex, you are the queen!
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