ICK!

I have a low tolerance of "eeeeeeeewwwwww".  I am not a big fan of grossness, in fact, I can just about start throwing up at the thought of it.  An intolerance to slime, greasy things, blood, guts and the leftovers of what my cat has been snacking on outside.  Huge "icks", do not like it, never have and seriously doubt, ever will!  Yesterday's adventure had a huge "eeeeeeeeewwwwww"ness to it!  Wanting to cry yesterday has lead to laughs today!

My friend, Christine is starting a new job.  I volunteered to accompany her on a trip to the northern part of this island to interview a potential client.  Easy enough, gave me a real good excuse not to attend another function!  So, showered, clean clothes and even a bit of make-up on, off I went to meet my friend.  Minutes later, away we were on our little journey. 

Do-to-do-to-do, we go, chatting along and enjoying the scenery and becoming more and more disgusted by the condition of the road.  For those of you who know, it has rained recently and the pot holes and mud/yuck holes cannot be avoided.  For those of you who do not know; the road north of the cut or bridge is not paved!  The further north you go, the worse it becomes and there is no way to describe it except maybe like; "driving through hell craters on the moon?!"   Christine is doing her best to navigate these horrible, muddy pot holes filled with gross, stinky water!  Doing fairly well, until, we get stuck!  And I mean stuck!  The mud sucks in the back tires like a giant suction cup!  I begin screaming because I know I now have to step out into this water to get to dry land and may possibly have to help push this cart out!  Stepping out into this mud ickyness, my flip/flop immediately is sucked in!  The next one breaks off!  Now I have to navigate back to retrieve these!  OMG, somehow, I get them and make it to dry land!   Not knowing where we are or how close to this,  soon-to-be client's address, we realize we must go into the bush or wade through more water to get some help!  At first the bush/jungle seems okay, except we have these ridiculous flip/flops on and then we find the locals in this area have filled the bush with garbage!  To our knees of garbage!  I am so close to tears and way past my "eeeeeewwwwww" tolerance level, I have to tell myself to suck it up and do this!  I did!  Not happily and shaking with fear of what we may be stepping on or into!  We did it!  

Angels watching over these two little catholic women, we get to our destination, only to find out we were yards away from where we needed to be!  Mud dripping on our legs, dirt and slime oozing between our toes,  sweat pouring off our brows, heads and actually, everywhere, completely disheveled, we find my friend's appointment!  (Another story, but this guy could use a briefing from Emily Post or a slap from Donald Trump!  A complete ass, no common courtesy what so ever!  I doubt he will be getting any recommendations for his resort from my friend!)

After my friend's meeting, we beg for help and after about a half hour, out comes a sweet worker with keys to a Polaris vehicle, some rope and the know-how of getting us out of this mess!  Tugging, pulling and presto, somehow he gets our cart out of the mud and advises us to stay to the "left" all the way back!  Easy enough, once again, off we go!

As we approach our destination, which is a mighty fine bar-b-q restaurant, dreaming of using their hose for our feet and legs, the washroom for our hands and face, we get stuck again!  This time the front end slides in and now the back tires slip and have nothing but muck to try to grip!  The engine dies, we're about to cry, again and my girlfriend is about to blow a gasket!  Out of the cart again, this time I teetered over a wheel and hop to dry land, desperate not to touch this slimy disgusting muck!  No help in sight, wild dogs in an adjacent lot and now no cell service!  But, I see  a golf cart approaching in the distance!  Yes, it is and he is headed right for us!

I am jumping up and down and begging please help us!  This young man and his girl friend are obviously out for a Sunday afternoon drive and know how to navigate these pot holes.  He quickly takes the stick I found that had some rope attached, (I was going to use it on those dogs if I had to),  cuts the rope with the machete he has hidden in his cart, attaches one cart to the other and proceeds, with the help of his girlfriend at the wheel to push and pull us out of this mess!

Another round of "OMG's", we now give this guy the last of our money; we had paid the previous helper and had coins left to give this young man!  He seemed pleased with his bonus and continued on with his date.

When we arrive at the restaurant, our friends are waiting and the looks on their faces about says it all!  We are a freaking mess!  Taking turns to use the washroom,  relate our tale of woe, we drink a few ice cold beers and relax enough to enjoy our lunch, the company and view of the sea!

My friend said she could see a blog coming and all I could think of was a shower in clorox and a tetanus shot!  Thanks for the laughs Christine, but really, eeeeeewwwwww!